Saturday, November 30, 2013

because songs


Well last night I couldn't sleep
I got up and started walking
down to the end of my street
and on into town
well I had no one to meet
and I had no taste for talking
Seems I've been talking my whole life
it's time I listen now
Keep On Walking; Passenger

Was it a friend that I needed,
or a lie?
so I could make myself believe that
What do you think I was waiting for?
a sign?
I was waiting for someone
to call themselves mine
Can't you see my body's out
of time
Sometimes it's a sadness 
that won't fit
between your lines


awake at night
cry you know it's
not alright
to feel like you're falling into nothing
you can learn to fly
just call 
His name
just call His name

Where do we go
call out His name
Lift up our hands
completely ashamed
Give it all up
dropping our pride
Rip us apart
Change us on the inside
Now, change us now

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

A Long Overdue Hornblower Appreciation Post

 I have been waiting to make this post for years and the time has finally come.

I was foolishly procrastinating on some homework and decided to scour the internet for Hornblower, well, everything. 

For those ignorant, soon to be fully informed, Horatio Hornblower is a character created by the writer C. S. Forester. He is a Napoleonic Wars era officer in the British Navy, and throughout his entire career he has one sort of adventure after another. The series is 11 books long. And there is a miniseries created by A&E that is eight episodes long.

I hold all of them- books and episodes- very close to my heart.

The time has now come for me to share this beauty with you.

My internet scouring mainly resulted in photosets and a few amusing posts/cartoons. This is not a review post, it's more of a fangirl-gushing general appreciation, ah, thing.

If you already are acquainted with Hornblower, then glorious. We shall gush together. If you haven't read or seen Horatio Hornblower, then my friend, you must. 

This is quite long because there are so many photos, so I'm sticking the rest beneath a jump.

But here's a pretty photoset to lure you in.

Monday, November 11, 2013

sometimes I wax eloquent on accident

"The Bible is, essentially, all about access. Mankind's access to God. From the Garden of Eden to the events of Revelation. 
From Adam's descent from holiness, from mankind's fall from perfection. To God's calling of Abraham, a heathen, to become the father of a nation. Proving His love and power and glory again and again to that nation, a beacon and testament to the surrounding peoples. To Mary, the birth of Jesus- God allowing Himself to be contained in a mortal vessel, living as one of us, sinning not, letting His creations mock and scorn and slay Him, making it possible for us to be with Him again by His blood and resurrection. Releasing us from the bondage of sin, allowing there to be peace between God and men. To His coming, which we look forward to not with wishful thinking or futile hope, but with a certainty stronger than a watchman on a wall awaiting the dawn.  

This world is a long poetry, an epic saga of God, the maker of this world, showing Himself to mankind, inviting them to join Him: to go places they would never reach on their own, doing wonders, defying sinful human nature by His Spirit; experiencing life, truth, understanding the mysteries of the world, dancing the ever enchanting spiritual dance of communion and peace with God, having the immeasurable hole that is carved in every one of our hearts, filled. And certainty of the future, of our passing from these mortal vessels to eternal ones, in the presence and unending fellowship of the One who loves us more perfectly than anything we can imagine. 
It is glorious. Utterly glorious. To sit in one's bedroom with an open Bible in your lap and know that God is there with you. To step outside and survey the trees, the sky, the clouds, and know that God placed them there. To know the Creator. To no longer struggle against Him, nor fight in our strength against our fallen nature, but to understand that we are filled and covered by the Almighty Spirit of God from whom all good things come. That it is not a boring, mundane, safe, or pain-free life we signed up for by asking Jesus Christ into our hearts and lives, but rather an adventure that will outlast our stay on Earth. To understand that we were made by and for God. That we will never truly be happier than when we are in fellowship with Him, learning more about Him, rejoicing and worshipping this great, boundless, perfect, unfathomable Being who is truly unmatched. Who spoke everything we know into existence, and sings over us. Who delights in you. Who bled for you. And who cannot wait to be in true, eternal fellowship with His bride.
And I, for one, cannot wait for the day when we shall experience Love in its- rather, His truest and most perfect form. "
~taken and embellished from my Bible journal

Thursday, November 7, 2013

some free verse poetry


also this planet is really stupid
i mean seriously
we're so far from the fall
the world seriously stinks
i just want to quit this planet sometimes

like now


i can't write.
i've been sick for like
three months

and i had a neurology appointment last month and i presented like i had adhd
no bueno

i seriously can't think
i can't do anything

i tried writing a serious blog post today but that didn't work

staying on top of schoolwork is ridiculous

i feel like my life is spinning out of control
it's wouldn't be so bad if i could just bloody think

but i can't

and besides i'm just sad.
because reasons yeah

i hope you all are doing splendid

this has been some free verse poetry


kirk out

Friday, November 1, 2013

Dear Ender's Game Film Creators (A Review)

Dear Gavin Hood, and all of the cast and crew,

This story is very important to me. After I read "Ender's Game" for the first time, I couldn't let it go. I reread it and reread it, absorbing the story, wishing it was real, wishing I could be a part of it. Living in Battle School, feeling the pressure, feeling the isolation, confronting the moral dilemmas and trying to reconcile this mundane earth with the adventure I found in those pages, over and over again.

I've been excited, and very worried, about this movie since I heard about it, over a year ago. Today is its premiere, and I made sure I went to see it. I went alone, because this story has great emotional hold on me and I didn't want to embarrass anyone I knew. For months I couldn't even discuss the then-upcoming movie because I freaked out too badly. It's a precious thing to me and I've been both eager and quite a wreck anticipating seeing hat you've done with it.

I cried the whole way through. Not because it was terrible- because it made me feel so many things I felt while reading. From Ender's first clever, slightly smug glance while playing the computer game in the beginning to the final moments of the film, I was a total wreck. Because you did so much right.

First of all, your casting. I think it was phenomenal. I want to especially commend you for Bonzo. He was perfect. I believed in him and who he was, I was scared of him for Ender. And needless to say, Bean and Peter and Ender and Valentine and Mazer, the whole jeesh, the whole school, they were wonderful. You did a great job. I wish you might have taken a little more time with the acting- in some moments, dialog felt rushed. Unnatural, sometimes down to the tone of their voices. But overall it was quite good.

Your visuals. I didn't really know what to expect with the battle room or the mind game or the final battles, but it was gorgeous. There were countless moments that moved me to tears simply because of how real it felt. Phenomenal. There were a few strange cinematography choices, particularly in group dialog that felt disjointed, but that was a small part of the whole.

Dear Steve Jablonsky, the music was nearly spot on. You almost overdid Ender's cello theme! And I hoped for a different kind of melody, but I shall have to content myself with what you've created. It was not bad in the slightest. Not in the slightest. I especially loved the mind game music, the distortion, whatever sound effects or noises that were used there.

Gavin Hood, I commend you for the undertaking of translating Orson Scott Card's novel into a script (much less a movie!). I cannot even fathom all of the aspects going into that. Though many have said it felt rushed, and perhaps it may have been, in a way that's how the book feels too. Go, go, go. Never a rest for Ender, or the viewer. If one had to choose between an adaptation that dragged its feet and an adaptation that whisks us along, I'd certainly choose the latter. I'm tempted to complain about how few battle room battles we saw, but I know they were expensive. And you chose the right ones, the most important ones. And the big-ish details that you altered, I understand completely. They had to be more dramatic, different for the screen. But you didn't try to out-do the book. At least, it didn't feel like it. You handled this story extremely well.
I hope to shake your hand personally one day for including so much original dialog. It helped a lot. That is true respect to the source, finding places to use the book's own words instead of replacing them with your own.

What you did, what you have done, is create one of the most successful recent book-to-movie translations I've seen. Because it is an accurate reflection of the story. A fragmented reflection perhaps, but you captured all the parts that mattered. You respected the book, and you also respected what the book makes the reader feel. I cannot speak for anyone going into this film without reading the book, but I know as a faithful lover of the Ender books as a whole, it brought Ender's journey to life. And you did something few adaptations do: things that the book could never convey, you painted with bold colors; you completed the book in a way with stunning images. I commend you. I hope those who see the movie without having read the book are prompted to read it afterwards.

Thank you. Thank you for a glorious journey, for taking a story I've enjoyed in my mind and throwing it onto the vast canvas of the screen. It was stunning.

And now, more than ever, I wish it was real, and that I could be in it.